The best month of the year!
Some things just defy description. We all know them to be true, and
the evidence can be substantial, but the reasons for the
whys-and-wherefores simply escape us. Such things that come to mind
include love, a flying bumblebee, the first cry of a newborn, and
electricity racing through the energized veins of a rural countryside.
And then there's February, the love month. With the two most
romantic days--Groundhog Day (just ask my wife) and St. Valentines
Day--February is clearly the best month of the year. It's just chock
full of special days for special people we love or want to love for
some reason. Why that is I don't exactly know, but the evidence is
significant. For example, did you know that more people who are the
best at what they do (or did) were born in February than in all the
other months combined? Surprised? Well, let's look at the evidence. We
could do this one day at a time, but with four or five great people
each day to choose from we'd never get through the list, so let's
group a few.
Presidentially speaking, February is the hands-down winner in best,
beginning with the greatest president ever, Lincoln.
Then you've got the first president and father of our country, George
Washington; the great communicator, Ronald
Reagan; the great Indian fighter William
Henry Harrison who also has the distinction of giving the
longest inauguration speech (in the rain) and then serving the
shortest term when he died of pneumonia a few weeks later. Don't
forget the almost-presidents, Adlai Stevenson
(perhaps the greatest political loser ever), Edward
Kennedy (if only he'd been driving a Volkswagen), and Indiana's
own Dan Quayle. Dan was born on the same
day as Alice Cooper, which makes February
4th the best day for both family values and cross-dressing. Chelsea
Clinton is another February politico. You know her; she's the
good one.
February also gave birth to Jimmy Hoffa,
the best union boss never found, and nobody has ever found a way to
put our lives on canvas the way Norman Rockwell
did.
Athletically speaking, February is definitely in the front row.
With Michael Jordon and Julius
Erving from basketball, Hank Aaron
and Babe Ruth from baseball, Red
Barber and Mel Allen from the
baseball booth, football's Jim Brown and Lawrence
Taylor (he's now the best in two categories!), and Mark
Spitz who went swimming in gold medals, the second month has it
covered. Then there's Bob Griese who
quarterbacked the only undefeated NFL team ever, and Fran
Tarkenton, the greatest quarterback to ever lose three Superbowls; Greg Norman, the greatest
golfer to blow the greatest lead in the greatest golf event, the
Masters; Charles Barkley, the best
inch-for-inch rebounder the NBA has ever seen, and Mario
Andretti, the best driver who is STILL slowing down at the
Indianapolis Motor Speedway.
If you're a reader, you'll agree that Jules
Verne was the first great writer to lead science fiction into
science fact, and Erma Bombeck the best
at turning family facts into family fiction.
Johannes Gutenberg put his life on the line to print the Bible
so all families could read it for themselves.
Had enough? I don't think so.
Charles Lindbergh was the best pilot
until Chuck Yeager came along, and they
both flew out of February. Levi Strauss
invented the best pair of pants and Steven Jobs
was wearing them when he invented the best darn computer (Macintosh).
I think John Deere invented the color
green, and Thomas Edison just invented.
And invented.
I'm not sure what Susan B. Anthony
invented, but apparently she knew how to turn a buck. Cindy
Crawford, Christy Brinkley and Farrah
Fawcet certainly know how to turn a head, as did Lana
Turner, Kim Novak and Gilligan's Tina
Louise before them. Vanna White
earned a Fortune turning letters, but I've never seen her spin her
Wheel. Gypsy Rose Lee could certainly
spin 'em, and Carmen Miranda was the
greatest dancer to ever wear fruit on her head. Tommy
Tune is still pretty light on his feet, but his tunes still
don't compare to the great Enrico Caruso.
George Harrison is no opera singer but he
makes the list just because he was a Beatle, and Peter
Tork is here as a Monkee. Neither could spell, however. Then
there's the Line Walking Johnny Cash,
who was just the greatest.
Franco Zeffirelli makes the cut as one
of the best directors just because of Romeo and Juliet and Jesus
of Nazareth, but he did others. Majel
Barrett was the first Number One, and her others include Nurse
Chapel, Troi's mom, and the voice of the computer in all the Star
Trek series. Elizabeth Taylor and Joanne
Woodward share great talent, and they both share February 27. Jack
Benny was one of the first great TV comedians, and there's Jackie
Gleason who was actually billed as simply The Great One.
I'm not half-way through the list but I'm at the end of the column,
and I haven't even mentioned the greatness that began on February 7th.
I have to start with Garth Brooks, the
greatest song seller ever. Buster Crabbe
was first great at Tarzan, then played Buck Rogers and Flash
Gordon. The Charles who invented Mr.
Scrooge and so many other great characters was certainly a Dickens
of a writer, and Laura Ingalls Wilder wasn't
too shabby in her Little House on the Prairie. Sinclair
Lewis, the first American awarded the Nobel Prize for
literature, touched millions with writings such as Elmer Gantry
and Arrowsmith. And, of course, there is the author
of this column who regularly touches perhaps a dozen or so with
his "witerature".
"Ah Hah!" you say, "So THAT's why February is
the best." To be honest, when I started this column that was
going to be the punch line, but the names listed here, and the ones I
don't have room to include, just about convinced me that there really
is something special about this month. Can you relate to that? Would
your perceptions have been different if I'd mentioned my own
connection in the first paragraph instead of near the end? Well that's
the closest thing to a point that you're going to find here: whether
it's a reporter or a politician or an REMC CEO, we all have our angles
behind our claims. Don't accept words just because they sound
credible. Investigate, question and ask yourself about motivations.
That will make you a better consumer, a better citizen, and a smarter
voter.
But February is still the best. To investigate further, check out
the following web site:
February Birthdays
Did I mention John Travolta, Carole King,
Zeppo, Yoko,
Sonny, Zsa Zsa…
1/5/99
