Kayla's Funeral

P.O. Box 904 SR 67 & Tyson Rd Portland, IN 47371 219.726.7121

Remarks for the Funeral of
Kayla Huntzinger
Wednesday, April 14, 1999

John Samples, CEO
Jay County REMC

I asked Larry on Monday if Kayla had something specific in mind that she wanted me to do or say here today. He smiled and said that Kayla was sure I could talk for several minutes without any particular direction. She must have heard about how long I rambled at this year's annual meeting; so this might just be Kayla's last joke on all of you

This is the first time that I have spoken at a funeral since my brother Dain died six years ago this month; today I am honored to speak on behalf of co-workers and friends as we remember our sister, Kayla.

Kayla also lost a brother unexpectedly; it was 20 years ago when Don died. When I came to Jay County 5 years ago, Kayla demonstrated enormous compassion as I struggled through that first anniversary. We talked often about our lost brothers, and about the terrible pain of our parents at having to bury a child.

Bill and Donna (Kayla's parents), my parents have made the trip up from Cincinnati to be here today, partly to support me, mostly because of how Kayla touched them with her sweet spirit, and partly to share with you the grief that -- I suspect -- only parents can completely understand at a time like this.

Kayla is well-known for her kindness and kind words. But I have to tell you, she did give me the what-for once. She had worked for me for about 2 years (or I for her) when one day I asked her if there was anything I could do to make her job easier and more productive. She didn't hesitate. She looked me square in the eye and said "Your moodiness is driving me crazy!"

My wife had been telling me that for years, but when Kayla said it, somehow I thought I better listen. The short story is the doctor found I had a problem and gave me some little white pills that both Kayla AND my wife said made a big difference. One of the things I didn't like about those pills was that they flattened my emotions so much, I couldn't cry, even when I wanted to. Since this past weekend I've been wishing I still had some of those little white pills!

When I went to the scripture to find comfort for my personal pain, my Bible was opened to this passage in First Timothy:

"I thank Christ Jesus our Lord. He has given me the strength for my work because He knew that He could trust me."

Those words just jumped off the page as something Kayla would have said, particularly during the past couple of years.

"He has given me the strength for my work because He knew that He could trust me."

Then, as I began preparing these remarks, that passage took on added meaning as I realized that as difficult as being here today is, He has entrusted me to it. And if I am able to get through this, it will only be because of the strength He gives me.

Some of you have already heard me tell this next story, but it touches me so much I ask you to humor me as I share it again:

When I first went to see Kayla after the diagnosis some 22 months ago, everyone was still pretty much in a state of shock. It was clear that Kayla knew how serious this was, but it was also clear that she planned on living and coming back to work (which she did about six months later). When I got ready to leave, I really didn't know what to say. So I just asked her what she wanted us to pray for. I'll never forget her answer, she said, "John, let's pray that however this works out, God will use this to his glory. Whether I live or die, I will get my victory, and I just want to reflect HIM either way. "And," she said, "let's pray for the people that will cross my path during whatever is to come, so that they will see some of God's grace and mercy." She didn't mention anything about healing or pain or fear.

Our prayers that day have been answered more times than can be counted. One of the things that struck a lot of us during her illness was the number of dedicated Christian doctors that ended up treating Kayla. And, until last week, I believed that all those Christian doctors were somehow part of the answer to that prayer in that they could help her witness and then help other people through her. Then I got to talk to a couple of those doctors and it became clear to me that those Christian doctors were led to Kayla not for her sake, but for theirs! They were not there to help answer the prayer, as much as they were there as THE answer to the prayer, because even Christians, even Christian physicians, need to see up close and personal, the incredible power of God's grace and mercy at work.

And that prayer doesn't die with Kayla. That prayer will go on being answered for as long as those doctors treat patients, and as long as all the people that crossed her path continue to remember this elegant lady and the classy way she fought for life, and for the life-giver.

When I went to see her last Monday, it was really the first time she and I talked directly about her dying, and she brought it up. She said, "John, I'm not afraid to die. In fact, I'm really looking forward to waking up in my new home. Then she said, "But I know I'm supposed to be here a while longer, and I just don't know when to stop fighting."

From talking to Larry about those last few hours, it sounds to me like she found the answer.

I'm sure that everyone here today has a very special memory of Kayla. The one that is strongest for me right now is from just a few short weeks ago; the last time she came by the REMC where she worked. She was wearing blue bib overalls and looked the picture of life and vitality. She was bouncing around and, intentionally or not, adding a little sunshine to everyone's life that day. I had not seen her looking that alive in over two years.

Oswald Chambers has a book of daily devotionals called My Utmost for His Highest. Kayla and I both used it from time to time, and every now and then we'd argue about what that day's devotional was really trying to say. I'd like to read to you from the devotional for today, April 14:

"Where do the Godly people get their joy from? If we did not know some Godly people personally, it would be easy to believe from watching them that they just don't have any problems. But open your eyes. The fact that the peace and the light and the joy of God are there is proof that the burden is there too. The burden God places in his people is the very thing that squeezes the grapes, and out comes the wine; most of us see only the sweet wine. No power on earth or in hell can conquer the Spirit of God in a human spirit, it is an inner unconquerableness."

I've never heard Kayla described any better.

Yesterday, I was looking for something on Kayla's desk when I began to notice the little things that she had stuck all over her workspace, and which I suspect brought Kayla daily sunshine. These are all items which have been there since before she got sick, and I'd like to share them with you…

A scripture: Let those who love the Lord hate evil, for he guards the lives of his faithful ones and delivers them from the hand of the wicked. Psalms 97:10.

A prayer card that concludes with this line:
Help me find peace and meaning in what I do, knowing that no one else can be me.

The March 18^th devotional from the book My Utmost for this Highest.
This is highlighted: Is God having his way with me, and are people beginning to see God in my life more and more?

I think this must be related to that. It's a list of every major hospital from Fort Wayne to Indianapolis, and from Coldwater to Richmond. I suspect this must have been referenced by Kayla regularly as she shared "God in her life" with those in ill health.

This, in her own handwriting:
Father, Sharpen my sensitivities so I recognize your advent in my life.

And this one, my favorite:
Each day is a gift of God. That's why it's called the present.

This has been a predictably difficult week at the REMC. We've cried on each others' shoulders; we've shared scripture; we've shared those unexpected moments when we stumble across something of hers, and those strange moments when we forget --
for just half-a-second -- that she's not coming back; and we've shared good memories mixed with a healthy portion of emotions.

I'd like to share with you a little of what has been exchanged among the people that worked with Kayla:

Ron Laux, one of our Lineman, put his thoughts on paper, where he talked about that note that he meant to write her last week. It's not like Ron to put things off, but he said that he just didn't know what to say. Then, he talked about Kayla's arrival last Saturday afternoon:

"When Kayla knocked on Heaven's gate Saturday, as Christ approached her and asked, "Who are you?", SHE knew what to say. She probably answered, "I am God's daughter, and your sister. Then immediately Christ would have opened the gate to allow her in and said to her, "Welcome home to your family."

Ron goes on…

No one I have known is better prepared for such an event as Kayla. She knew that neither her profession, her accomplishments, nor her worldly possessions were the answer Christ was looking for. She knew that knowing what God expects is the recognition of her creator."

Is there any doubt that her witness will live on.

Missy May is a young lady that Kayla was proud of and grateful to. Missy was still in high school when Kayla first got sick in June. But she worked her schedules around so that she could work part time for us to help us get Kayla's work done so that when Kayla got better her job would still be waiting for her. Kayla did come back that December, and Missy was looking for a job.

Missy graduated about the time Kayla went back on disability in January of last year, and, turning down another job offer, she agreed to come to work full-time at the REMC, knowing that when Kayla got well, she would again be looking for work. What I didn't know until last Saturday was how much the two of them stayed in touch, and built a friendship.

When I talked to Missy on the phone Saturday night she was crying, like the rest of us, and she said, "I'm on my own now." And she began to tell me about how often she would call Kayla when she didn't know how to do something, and Kayla would always help her through it. When I mentioned that to Larry on Monday, he just laughed and said, "Yeah, they talked quite a bit."

Kayla used to give me suggestions on things I could do to help Missy (like not being so moody!). Now, I know how Kayla knew what Missy needed. Just another example of how Kayla's thoughts were most often on the needs and circumstances of others, rather than her own pain and struggles.

I received this note just this morning from a man in Indianapolis that I used to work with and have stayed in touch with. He writes:

"There are people we meet in life that exude a genuine warmth and kindness that makes us immediately feel at ease and that we matter. They provide a bright spot in our often hectic and impersonal daily lives. Though we spoke infrequently, it was easy to recognize Kayla as one of those people."

Sometimes it's not what people say, but what they do that helps us in times like this. Jim Hartvig, another of our Linemen and our in-house chef, didn't have a lot of words Monday (which was a little unusual for Jim) but he very quietly brought in a big pot of the best homemade chicken soup I've ever had. And it's true; chicken soup IS good for what ails you.
Cindy Denney may have captured our thoughts and feelings best when she said through her tears, "Kayla just made me want to be a better person."
Cindy has a 9-year-old daughter named Miranda. When Miranda heard the news Saturday evening, she went to her room without saying a word. Several minutes later she emerged with this "Letter to God" which she had written on Kayla's behalf.

In the letter this child gave God four reasons why He should take Kayla to heaven:

1) She was a very good and caring loving person;

2) Everyone liked her.

3) I know she loved you very, very, very, very much; and

4) We enjoyed having her in our life and people at the REMC loved and enjoyed her like you do. So God, please take her to heaven.
Love, Miranda.

I praise God that that prayer has been answered. I praise God that a child of 9 could be moved to share such an expression of hope and love. And I praise God that a letter, a whole lot like that one, has already been written for all of us through the blood of Christ, even those of us that don't deserve it as much as Kayla. Maybe even especially for those of us who don't deserve it.

Some of God's children are called to be Apostle Pauls, or Billy Grahams, or Randy Davises. They get the spotlights and the pulpits and the deserved recognitions of many as they fulfill their callings and serve the Lord.

But the lucky ones get to be Kaylas. People who spend their quiet lives in quiet little towns. Spending everyday in quiet time walking with their Lord, and following His leading by doing quiet little things for people around them. These are the lucky ones.

And the REALLY lucky ones, are the ones that get to be the friends, and the family, and the co-workers, that are touched in quiet little ways by the Kaylas in our lives.

Way to go Kayla!